Boston Celtics Poetry

May 20, 2010

This may or may not be a picture of my father

I know I know…it’s been oh so long since any of us last posted something on here. I apologize to our loyal readers.

Anyways, I thought it was time for the world to hear my father’s latest Celtics poem, which should get you fired up as the C’s return to the Garden up 2-0 looking to close out the series. Also, none of this poem has been altered including the all caps and green coloring. Always fun watching people learn how to use a computer (earlier this week he watched his first TV show online)!

GAME 7 LAST YEAR IN BOSTON THE CELTICS GET MUGGED
AND MAGIC AT GAMES END ARE FULL OF HUGS

WELL, TODAY STARTS THE NBA FINAL FOUR

AND THE CELTICS WILL BE ON THE FLOOR

THREE TEAMS WILL FALL

LEAVING ONE TO WIN IT ALL

NOW THE CELTICS HAVE TURNED ON THE SWITCH
AND THE MAGIC WILL LEARN THAT PAYBACK IS A BITCH

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Let the Debate Begin: Boston Globe Mentioning Celtics in Same Breath as ’95-’96 Bulls

November 4, 2009

 

Rajon Rondo

Celtics PG Rajon Rondo looking to earn every penny of his new 5 year $55 million contract

The Boston Celtics are off to a 5-0 start looking to surpass last season’s 27-2 record, but more importantly finish the way they finished in 2008…with another title. The Boston Globe is already starting the 72-10 talk, and if healthy it might be hard to argue.

On the first night of a road back-to-back to the Celtics faced one of the hottest offenses in the NBA and absolutely shut down the Sixers. Even the greatest 3-point shooter in the history of the NBA (statistically at least…just ahead of Steve Kerr and Hubert Davis), Jason Kapono, couldn’t help the Sixers shoot above 40% or break 80 points. Point guard Rajon Rondo took his new contract and closed out the first quarter by putting the C’s up 19-17 with this sick out-of-bounds shot. The reserves came in and that was the end of that game.

The Celtics were able to rest their big men Kevin Garnett and Kendrick Perkins, which should bode well tonight in Minnesota going up against former Celtic Al Jefferson. Rasheed Wallace continued to shoot nothing but 3’s draining 6-8 and finishing with 20 points in his hometown. Marquis Daniels continues to play smart basketball and penetrate while Shelden Williams has to be the biggest surprise of the young season. The former lottery and husband of Candace Parker is showing flashes as to why he was given the nickname the Landlord.

The three things Celtics fans have to really enjoy outside of the wins, which of course are most important, are how the Celtics lock down defensively, move the ball on offense and are so deep that Doc can limit the starters minutes and hopefully keep them as fresh as possible as the season goes on. The Celtics racked up 27 assists on 41 fg’s last night and limited yet another team to under 40% shooting for the 4th time in 5 games.

Next up…Minnesota.

 


Every Erection is a Miracle

October 28, 2009

By far one of the best off-season acquisitions

Larry David is a brilliant man for that statement in last week’s episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm, but so is Danny Ainge and how he was able to acquire Marquis Daniels this off-season for the bi-annual exception. Daniels took a significant pay cut from last season’s salary in order to have the chance to win a title here in Boston and only make $1.9 million for the season.

As I stated in my season preview I think Daniels will end up being the biggest addition to this team (outside of KG returning from an injury of course). His ability to play both guard positions will allow Doc to successfully experiment with lineups during the regular season and get some rest for the starters. Daniels looked ok last night (led the C’s in plus/minus) but he will without a question grow into this role and pick up more than 18 minutes/game.

Last night was a great way to start the season, but after starting last year 27-2 and winning 62 games but still falling short in the 2nd round we know it’s about how you finish. With that said the Celtics ended an 8 game losing streak in Cleveland and also ended a 16 game road losing streak in this series. The Cavs won their first 23 home games last season so for LeBron and Shaq to drop their home opener is more than just any other game.

Shaq did come ready with a great quote regarding Glen “Wyc Grousbeck won’t call me Big Baby” Davis and his thumb injury:

O’Neal joked that he would miss injured Boston forward Glen Davis. “They call him Big Baby for a reason,” cracked the Big Diesel. “Because he’s my son.”

What about the performance of Paul Pierce over LeBron last night? Yeah James looked phenomenal throughout the game and put up some incredible numbers, but what happened down the stretch? Pierce was clutch as always while LeBron missed a 3 and surprised Anthony Parker with a pass for a crucial turnover. 

As my brother just said “dude 82-0 is realistic.” I don’t think Tommy Heinsohn even thinks that’s realistic but hey maybe 67?

While the Lakers looked pretty solid last night playing the Blake Griffin-less Clippers we can only hope Kobe gets jealous of Gasol’s newfound and ridiculous fame.


The Beast Has Spoken…Celts to Hang Another Banner

October 27, 2009

My father, and most loyal Celtics fan I know, is predicting another title for the C's

Where do I even begin? Let’s start with this…The Beast is my father, who also happens to be without a doubt the most loyal Celtics fan outside of Tommy Heinsohn. Where to follow up? My father started a tradition of writing poems (He may not be Walt Whitman but they sure are entertaining…I love you dad!) back during the Celtics title run in 2008. As luck should have it the C’s went on to hang their 17th banner from the rafters, but injuries took their toll last season as the Celts fell to the Magic in the 2nd Round.

Well, a new season is upon us as the Celts kickoff the season in Cleveland tonight where the Cavs will put on display their new tandem featuring LeBron and Shaq…no word on whether old friend Delonte West will be rapping from a nearby KFC prior to the game.

Without further ado…………I bring you my father’s latest “poem,” and keep in mind if you don’t know what a hassic is well he meant hassock and I had to look it up on dictionary.com.

WITH YANKS AND PHILS FANS FEET ON THEIR HASSIC                                                                                                THEY ARE READY TO WATCH THEIR TEAMS IN THE FALL CLASSIC


BUT JUST DAYS AFTER BIG BABY’S FIGHT
I AM READY TO WATCH CELTS ON OPENING NIGHT

WITH AINGE HAVING WORKED THE PHONE
I CAN SEE THE GREEN REGAINING THE THRONE

WITH TWO ADDITIONS THAT ARE KEY
WE WILL LOVE THE ONE CALLED MARQUIS

AND ALL TEAMS BETTER TAKE HEED 
CAUSE NOW THE CELTS HAVE RASHEED

WITH LAST YEAR’S TEAM COMING UP SHORT
LOOK FOR THE 2009 -2010 BANNER ON OUR HOMECOURT


Celtics Ready to Hang Banner 18

October 26, 2009

 

Sheed is ready to rack up the T's this season

Sheed is ready to rack up the T's this season

The Patriots head into their bye winners of their last two games by a combined score 94-7. The Red Sox are home watching the Yankees in their first World Series in six years. The Bruins are still trying to figure out how to win without Phil Kessel (traded), Milan Lucic (Injured) and Marc Savard (Injured). But guess what Boston? There is definitely something to watch this week…the Boston Celtics kickoff the NBA regular season in Cleveland against LeBron and Zydrunas, er Shaq. After the Cavs, the C’s return home for three games against Charlotte, Chicago and New Orleans.

The Celtics have trimmed their roster down to 15 after releasing Michael Sweetney, which comes as a major blow to Boston-area restaurants. Sweetney aside, the Celtics have the stars and depth to make a serious run at their 18th title. 

Let’s start with the obvious…If Kevin Garnett is healthy and on the floor this team immediately takes the shape of a contender. KG controls the defensive end and the boards and more importantly he frees Kendrick Perkins up to be an intimidating big man down low. Offensively KG stretches the floor and opens up the lane for Rondo to penetrate, Pierce to play on the post and Ray Allen to do what he does best and that’s drain 3’s. The most exciting part of this season though has to be the depth. Even during the 2008 championship season the Celtics did not have this type of depth. Yeah, we all loved Posey and Eddie House but the starters were logging some serious minutes.

This season the Celtics will feature a legitimate 2nd unit. Marquis Daniels for me is the big addition. His size and versatility truly puts the Celtics bench on par with some starting lineups. Daniels is a big guard who can play PG and for the first time in a long time give the Celtics someone who can initiate the offense and control the tempo off the bench. This will take the ball out of House’s hands and allow him to roam the arc, which looked pretty nice in the preseason. On the flip side Daniels’ size won’t create mismatches on the defensive end. Big Baby will also be able to spread the floor with his jumper and not have the focus on him like last season when there were some awful dry stretches with the 2nd unit. The big name acquisition, of course, was Sheed. His energy and vet presence will just add to the frustration to teams around the league. As if Pierce and KG weren’t bad enough with their trash talking Sheed will surely lead the charge racking up T’s. Sheed can still drain the 3 and stretch the floor for the 2nd unit and add a bit of a defensive presence down low. The 10th spot seems up for grabs right now with Scal (when healthy) fighting for minutes with former lottery pick and Candace Parker’s husband, Shelden Williams. Like most Celtics fans I pray Tony Allen disappears and allows us to see if we have anything in Giddens. He put up big numbers last year in the D-League but according to Ridiculous Upside he doesn’t seem to have what it takes to be an undersized SF in the NBA. Walker probably won’t see the floor for a while after his injury and while I’m very high on rookie Lester Hudson I’m not sure he’ll find a spot in the rotation this year. His length and ability to rebound will be a huge plus for Austin Ainge and the Maine Red Claws.

My prediction for the season is 67 wins and another trip to the NBA Finals. I think the Cavs and Magic will provide for an entertaining Eastern Conference but if healthy the C’s just have too much. The Magic are tough to figure out because losing Hedo and Courtney Lee will hurt them but they get Jameer Nelson back from injury, Ryan Anderson is a solid player and Vince is the wild card for them. The Cavs obviously have LeBron and of course the addition of Shaq on paper is a great move, but Delonte losing his mind certainly hurts. I think for the Cavs to overtake the C’s LeBron is going to have to elevate his game to yet another level.

Celtics over the Spurs in 7 games.


Captain Jack Will…

October 14, 2009

according to Billy Joel, “get you high tonight,” however Don Nelson and the Golden State Warriors are singing a different tune this morning. Check out Jackson’s latest comments in today’s espn.com article:

“Don’t try to dig into it, that’s just how I feel,” Jackson said. “I don’t want to be a role model. … Being captain was overrated to me, anyway. You don’t do anything but go out before the game and talk to the refs. I don’t want to do that, anyway.”

Golden State Warriors former team captain, Stephen Jackson, doesn't want to be a role model

Golden State Warriors former team captain, Stephen Jackson, doesn't want to be a role model

Jackson goes on to say that the reason he signed the 3-year deal was because the money was too good to pass up, but now he wants out. Does Rush Limbaugh really want to deal with this sort of headache?



Farewell Jewish Jordan

September 17, 2009
Image courtesy of Matthew Funtime

Image courtesy of Matthew Funtime

It’s a sad day for the Chosen People as Tamir Goodman, our Great White Ginger Hope, called it quits.

Goodman was a highly touted prospect out of Maryland that just happened to be an Orthodox Jew.  His star rose after a Sports Illustrated profile was written about him and the 35 points he dropped on a no traif diet.  The fact that he was doing this against other schmoes while playing for a Talmudical school didn’t bother SI.  You see, Tamir also played pick-up games in Baltimore and held his own against street ballers (read: Black people.  For some reason, Sports Illustrated really harped on this part.)  SI proclaimed him the real deal, the Jewish Jordan.

Maryland also believed the hype.  The Terps gave him a scholarship to play ball, but they couldn’t accommodate his religious needs (no practices or games on Fridays or Saturday mornings) and he backed out of his commitment to play there.

Next stop: Towson Tigers!  Tamir essentially did nothing as a member of the Tigers, then famously quit after 2 years saying his coach was anti-semitic.

Now, I had the pleasure of seeing Tamir Goodman play in person.  Or at least I think I did.  He wasn’t exactly the most memorable baller in Towson’s 61-60 win over Hofstra back in 2001-02.  In fact, I can’t even remember if he made it into the game.  It was probably his Jew hating coach that kept him riding pine.  Actually, Im pretty sure the same guy threw pennies at me after the win.

So, Tamir, as we set to celebrate the New Year this weekend, we fondly remember those 6 months of hype that let others know Jews could kick ass at sports, before you ruined it all by, indeed, sucking at basketball.