Back to the Future!

October 19, 2009



Oh Lordie…my eyes have seen the glory!!! Halleluyaaaaaaah!!!!  Praise George Wendt the Pats are back!

Oh silly Jets fans had a little wet tip for a few weeks….NO LONGER!



Rush Limbaugh and Clayton Bigsby Ready to Bring ‘White Power’ to the NFL

October 13, 2009


Coming to a Rush Limbaugh-owned NFL team near you...white power!

Coming to a Rush Limbaugh-owned NFL team near you...white power!

Drug-addicted broadcasting legend Rush Limbaugh is part of a group bidding on the best UFL team currently playing in the NFL. The St. Louis Rams are known around the Fantasy world for their talented QB duo Marc Bulger and Kyle Boller, not to mention can’t-miss stud WR’s Donnie Avery and well I have to be honest I have no idea who else starts opposite him now that the great Laurent Robinson is hurt. 

It’s hard to imagine how Limbaugh would try to construct an NFL team based solely on white players. We all remember this little ditty from Limbaugh: “I think what we’ve had here is a little social concern in the NFL,” Limbaugh said on “ESPN’s Sunday Night Football.” “The media has been very desirous that a black quarterback do well.” Knowing how Limbaugh feels do you think he would pull a Clayton Bigsby and just put a white hood over Steven Jackson? Or, would Limbaugh actually try to field a team of 53 white NFL players? Yeah, they’ll be alright at QB, OL, LB, P and K but what about the secondary and running back? Would a Peyton Hillis/Heath Evans tandem get the job done? Will Limbaugh bring Chuck Cecil and Jason Sehorn out of retirement?

I think these are valid questions Limbaugh needs to answer before he fights Al Sharpton and Commissioner Roger Goodell for a chance to purchase the St. Louis Rams.

White power!

From Titletown to Loserville in Boston

October 12, 2009


Words can't describe how disgusting of an image this is...

Words can't describe how disgusting of an image this is...



What happened this weekend? It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Yeah the Sox put themselves in an 0-2 hole but they were coming back to Fenway where they were 56-25…plus it was the Angels, right?

Yeah the Pats were on the road facing the undefeated Broncos, but they are coached by a Belichick deceitful, which usually bodes well for the OG Hooded One. At least the Celtics improved to 2-1 with a 100-93 preseason win over the Nets. Newcomer Rasheed Wallace thinks the C’s can break the Bulls regular season record of 72 wins…but I digress.

While fans in Boston are whining about the Sox finally losing at the hands of the Angels and the Pats now 3-2 with Brady looking shaky how about we look at the bright side! Yeah, I know, not very Boston of me.

Let’s start with the Sox. Did anyone really think the Sox would eliminate the Angels (Ok,so maybe we did solely because of It’s Always Sunny in Philadlephia)? Boston was under-.500 on the road this season, bats disappeared for long quiet stretches and outside of Lester you really couldn’t depend on the pitching staff down the stretch. Moving forward the Sox have a solid young nucleus with Lester, Beckett, Buccholz and Dice-K not to mention Papelbon and Bard in the bullpen. The Sox have shown a willingness to spend money every offseason even if it’s on mediocre players (hello Julio Lugo and JD Drew…thanks for the homerun yesterday though) and the Farm System continues to churn out talent either for solid trading chips or inexpensive players. The Sox definitely have some re-tooling to do before they can compete with the Yankees, however with Dice-K coming back healthy and Buccholz taking the next step I would say that is a pretty impressive makings of a rotation. Gotta imagine Tim Wakefield will be back next season and that the Sox will do their usual thing where they sign a veteran coming off an injury let’s say Ben Sheets.

The Pats also aren’t as awful as we all feel today. Remember when we ripped Josh McDaniels in the preseason? The team is 3-2 on the season with both losses coming in close games on the road against two of the best teams in the conference at this point. It obviously doesn’t help that the losses were to the Jets and Josh McDaniels but we have to focus on the big picture.

Tom Brady is still shaking the rust off a pretty debilitating injury (and his bodyguards shooting at paparazzi during his wedding), and the inexperienced defense will only get better with time. Not to mention the fact that Jerod Mayo went down with a knee injury to start the season and Richard Seymour was sent to the UFL, er, Oakland Raiders, right before Week 1. The Patriots will host a winless (hungry?) Tennessee Titans next week followed by a trip to London to face a winless Tampa Bay Bucaneers squad that just looks awful. At worst the Pats should be 4-3 heading into the bye before a Divisional game at home against the Dolphins. I think that’s the week the Pats will finally turn it on. If the Pats get to the halfway point at 5-3 or 6-2 with a 2-1 record in the division I’ll be feeling good about the playoffs.

Anyways, in related Boston news, Papelbon and Brady suck. Let’s trade ’em.

Chad Ochocinco: Dinner’s On Me

October 5, 2009

Our fascination with Chad Ochocinco is well documented.  And by well documented, we mean, that one post we did that one time.  Naturally, we follow him on Twitter and on Sundays, wait with bated  breath to hear his input on the day’s game.

His excitement was pretty typical following another nailbiter, but then he posted this:

Funny, we thought.  Perhaps a nice little prank by Chad, but then “The Interesting One” proved why he is, in fact, the coolest guy in pro sports as the Twitpics kept rolling in.

Esteban will even accommodate assholes that order $28 plates of Rattlesnake Pasta.

Esteban will even accommodate assholes that order $28 plates of Rattlesnake Pasta.

Even Raven Symone isn’t picking the Ravens!

October 1, 2009


Nope-  I’m pickin the Patriots Dr. Huxtable!

Look ahead to Pats vs. Ravens

September 30, 2009
Ray Lewis wants to murder the Pats

Ray Lewis wants to murder the Pats

So everyone is sold! The Ravens have been a solid machine this season.  Their defense is as strong as Ron Jeremy’s libido, and they finally have a quarterback better than Trent Dilfer, Elvis Grbak, Kyle Boller, and Anthony Wright, combined yada yada yada.  But the Ravens have had a cookie schedule too.  They beat a pathetic, and I mean crappier than crappy Kansas City Chiefs (why did I draft Larry Johnson as my #2 RB?).  Then they snuck by the Chargers by 5 points.  Finally they crushed the NFL’s most pathetic franchise currently, the Cleveland (Show) Manginas.  Oh, but there is just one more thing. 

Their receivers suck and the Pats will limit their offense!

Derrick Mason (freshly back from retirement), Mark Clayton (freshly back from sucking), Kelley Washington (who wasn’t even good enough to take the offensive field for the Pats and has a girl’s name), and Demetrius Williams (sounds more like Borophyl).  Oh and a decent tight end named Todd Heap, who really is a heap of crap.

The Pats new, younger, and well-coached defense is coming into its own.  I mean it.  They are fast, furious, too fast, and too furious hell Patrick Chung is looking like a Tokyo Drift.  They will eliminate the passing game and make Baltimore run it.  Ya I know they’ve got two solid backs in McGahee and Ray Rice, but it’s not going to be enough.  Especially since the Pats will take an early lead and the Ravens will be forced to throw.  Brady is due for his first big game.  This really isn’t going to be as big of a challenge as everyone thinks. 

It’s kind of like when a batter goes from seeing Beckett to Wakefield…it takes an adjustment.  In this case, the Ravens won’t catch their bearings until the 3rd quarter.  They’ll make a comeback attempt but it will fall short.  Going from the Browns to the Patriots is like going from Roseanne to Gisele.  Something to get up for, but you’re not used to such greatness, and you won’t know what to do with it.  By the time you finally figure it out, you’ve busted!!!

Pats 27 Ravens 19.  That’s the final score.

Editor’s note: Rudy Huxtible (spelled incorrectly due to fantastic fact checking) is a major homer and has never once predicted a Pats loss.

Fantasy Football Purgatory

September 30, 2009


I hate Philip Rivers but I hope he continues showing the love for Vincent Jackson.

I hate Philip Rivers but I hope he continues showing the love for Vincent Jackson.

Where do I even begin with my frustration for the current season. Oh, I know, let’s start here. My squad is currently 1-2 yet I have the second most points in my league (one point behind the leader), tied for the best breakdown but also tied for the hardest strength of schedule.  The next three weeks I play teams who are a combined 1-9 so hopefully my record will eventually reflect my rankings in the breakdown and total points, however with bye weeks and injuries who knows, right?


Another frustrating aspect to this start is that I currently have three of the top five Fantasy WR’s in Vincent Jackson, DeSean Jackson and Andre Johnson. Not to mention on my bench I have Kevin Walter, Johnny Knox and Mike Sims Walker. All this in a time when the WR pool is not that deep. Just to highlight here are some starting WR units in our league:

Exhibit A: Torry Holt, Hines Ward, TJ Houshmandzadeh.

Exhibit B: T.O., Eddie Royal, Jerricho Cotchery (team is 2-1)…FML.

Exhibit C: Lee Evans, Percy Harvin, Earl Bennett (team is 3-0)…kill me.

I even started to look for teams like these who were weak at WR, but for some reason none are compatible for trades at this time. I was recently offered Bears D for Kevin Walter. While Walter is only my #4 and we start 3 I still thought Walter had more value than a defense. I picked up SF off waivers and put them in over the struggling Redskins.

Here’s how my squad looks for this week: Kyle Orton (Matt Ryan on a bye), Andre Johnson, Vincent Jackson, Kevin Walter (DeSean is on a bye), Tashard Choice (MB III is banged up), Ray Rice (Kevin Smith is banged up), Dustin Keller (better get involved with the offense again), Mason Crosby and SF D/ST. I’m feeling good about this week and hoping to get back to .500.

What’s going on in your Fantasy league? We’d love to hear your thoughts, comments, issues, love stories, etc.