With two 24-hour sports talk radio stations in this city along with countless sports-based TV stations, we’re exposed to an almost endless supply of sports broadcasting. Unfortunately, few of them are very good. In this series we’ll run down some sports colloquialisms that really need to go.
For the inaugural installment of The Crappy Broadcasting Terminologies of the World, we’ll start with the phrase that started it all: “The ________ of the world.”
Why It Sucks: First, it’s entirely overused. Second, it’s entirely lazy. The latter most certainly explains the former.
Where It’s Heard: This is almost 100% exclusive to sports talk radio, where it is used by jocks unable to appropriately describe a player within their 4 hour shift of pontificating.
How It’s Used: “The Red Sox won’t win it all by relying on the Nick Green’s of the world.” I’m assuming this means that the Red Sox do not have great title chances when their starting shortstop is not good at baseball, but then again, I’m assuming. Why not say this and expound upon the exact reasons why they can’t win with Nick Green. For all I know, the sentence could’ve been intended to be interpreted as, “The Red Sox will not win it all relying on shortstops who bear strong resemblances to Wes Welker.”
Fun With this Phrase: The best part about this phrase is that it can be interpreted however you want it to be, since it’s never made clear what it actually means.
“The John Oleruds of the world” – Adults that still need to wear helmets to perform their day to day job.
“The Orlando Cabreras of the world” – Guys that reportedly like underage girls and bear strong resemblances to the gay hitman in Traffic.
“The Wes Welkers of the world” – Scrappy white guys. (This really bothers me, because Troy Brown is never used when describing multifaceted, talented slot receivers, even though Troy Brown was Welker before Welker ever came to New England. Maybe Boston is still racist.)
“The Bronson Arroyos of the world” – Douchebags.