New England (-3.5) @ NY Jets. THIS is the no brainer of the week folks. What happens when teams trashtalk the Bill Belichick Patriots for a week straight??? The Pats are gonna pull out a win like Dr. Huxtable pulls babies out of vaginas…with authority. Lets just look to a little known safety named Anthony Smith and his “guarantee” in 2007. He guaranteed they would lose by less than 22. Dr. J believes last week’s Bills game was an aberration. Remember 2004 when the Pats lost the 15th game to the then 1-13 Dolphins (ok, so the Dolphins were 2-11 and it was the 14th game of the season), but went on to win the Super Bowl? Jets you are a guest on Maury Povich and the Patriots are your daddies…
PATS 38 JETS 17
Sanchez 16-34 146 yds 1TD 3 INT.
Tennessee (-7) vs. Houston. HMM…tough call here. I think Houston is going to rebound nicely after that poor showing last week. The Texans are like that chick in 11th grade who is real hot but hasn’t grown breasts yet and you still have a chance because she has low self esteem….Take em’. And I mean when YOU are in 11th grade, not 28 years old. Well, unless its the second half of the year and the chick is 17 in Massachusetts.
Tennessee 19 Houston 16
Kansas City (-3) vs. Oakland. I think both teams looked fairly decent last week in defeat to better teams. This is a toss up, but I’m feelin Kansas City and Larry Johnson. I think he’s gonna pop a few TD’s on Oakland like Cory popped Topanga.
Kansas City 33 Oakland 24
Green Bay (-9) vs. Cincy. Oy vey. You know what…I think Cincy is going to have a surprising day. Not win, but keep it close. I have no logic and no rationale except to say Cincy is on HBO and I like boobs and sometimes you see a boob or two on HBO.
Green Bay 27 Cincy 24
Minnesota (-10) @ Detroit. Take Minnesota if you know whats good for you.
Minnesota 41 Dettroit 17
New Orleans (-1)@ Philly. Toughest call of the week. Philly’s D was stunning last week. New Orleans offense was awesome. McNabb’s hurt but its in Philly. Garcia isn’t so bad and even though he’s gay, he fake married a hot hot Playboy model. REAL HOT. Go with Philly in a squeaker.
Philly 24 New Orleans 22
Atlanta (-6) vs. Carolina.
Matt Ryan is good. Carolina is shaky. Balki Bartokomous does the dance of joy with Cousin Larry Appleton in Atlanta (I know they were from Chicago don’t fuck with me)
Atlanta 27 Carolina 17